Right now, we’re switching between “The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe” and “Encanto.” In total we have seen Bruno restored to his family about 37 times, and my patient wife has answered each and every one of my daughters’ 429,000 questions that would be answered by simply watching the movie. I have beans on the stove for tonight. We had leftovers last night I think. The night before we had Chinese food and the night before that we had pizza.
Last night there was oh so much screaming. This morning too. Oh so much screaming and inflexibility and harshness and unkind talk. The girls were having a hard time too. (ba dum tiss) The Guerra family caught something. The tests so far came back negative for COVID, but who knows any more. We’re actually waiting on one more test before seeing if we need to quarantine any longer than we have already.
I think I got what people are calling the “Flu-Rona” which is a double whammy of Omicron Covid and the flu. Lisa meanwhile has been mostly sat upon and seemingly undergone a weeklong interrogation of each and every moment of uncertainty experienced in both the village of Encantó and Narnia.
The other day I set up a queen mattress in the living room so the girls and Lisa could just pile together for the day. Today, three days later, the mattress has been propped up on the couch and converted into a sledding hill in our basement. The girls have taken baking sheets and sleeping bags to fling themselves down the mattress and directly toward our “child squishing sized” bookshelves. I have relinquished all responsibility for the mattress, including any commentary for the upkeep and failures of whatever endeavors they decide to act upon.
The amazing thing is that the girls had baths this week. They have eaten their fill whenever they were hungry. No one accidentally caught on or set another person on fire. The garbage went out Sunday night. We’ve somehow stayed on top of the dishes (miraculous). Lisa was able to sleep. I was able to sleep. The girls slept. And we have all found ourselves alive and lacking no good thing.
“I would like to let you know this is my thought that will have to count for whatever else I may not be able to give you at the moment.”
Oh, there was no room for the kind of prayer or mystic conversation with the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe and my Soul as I have been accustomed to. It was really about reacting well and taking care of the moment before us. One girl needed water. Another needed to scream about something. Then one kid needed a roll of toilet paper to wipe her eyes. And then one kid wanted to sit by herself listening to the Encantó soundtrack after finishing watching the movie.
Lisa and I got to quickly and tiredly hold each other in the kitchen for a couple moments. In between not talking about Bruno and exchanging cough drop requests. Just today I leaned in and said, “I would like to let you know this is my thought that will have to count for whatever else I may not be able to give you at the moment.”
I remember watching an episode of Conan where Stephen Colbert was talking about seeing Conan work through some jokes during rehearsal. Apparently, after the run through, he looked to his writers and asked what they thought. Everyone nodded and said it was fine. And then Conan leaned over and said, “Welp. The good enough gang rides again.” Man, has that stuck with me.
There’s this responsibility and expectation placed in front of you. There’s a job to do. Everyone is pretty much depending on you to do what you’re supposed to. And the best you can do at the greatest moment of need is in fact nothing more than phone it in and hope for the best.
I believe the same God who has not received the appropriate attention and affection I want to give looks at me trying my best and throws the full weight and agency of the Kingdom of Heaven towards me and my family in our time of need. He receives my sincere but tired mediocrity as an altogether holy and precious worship, not because it’s “good enough” but because He simply loves me and my family.
My friend, what if He’s that good? What if He sees your most exhausted self just wanting to give something, and that overwhelms Him with love for you? What if the God and Father of everything is just crazy about you and wants to see you blessed?
I give my daughter a banana and I see that she’s having a hard time opening it. So instead of leaving her solely responsible to care for herself, out of my compassion for her, I offer myself to help her receive better what I’ve already given her. I have no expectation of her to meet some standard of performance, I just want to take care of her and give her what she needs.
And now, I can end this night knowing that my “good enough” will be more than enough, because this life is not all up to me. I am entrusted to someone who has a chief interest in my family’s good. With my best foot forward or with a surrender to my children’s request for another movie, I am placed within the care and responsibility of my Father.
So this means I can simply enjoy my life right now. I don’t have to resent the chaos in the basement. In fact, tonight I taught my girls how to play King of the Mountain and spent about fifteen minutes throwing them down the mattress. I can now recommend Encantó to my fellow parents who are going through Omicron. And I can look at all of this and see that I have been held together with the wraparound love of a Father who will stop at nothing to show me just how much He loves me.
much love,
JM
And finally, now here is a clip of the mattress sledding hill for your viewing pleasure:
Sincere Simple Sacred 